Faith Over Fear

“When I discovered I was pregnant with my first daughter, I had a great job and was doing well for myself. However, I was long addicted to hydrocodone. I was taking enough for an overdose every single day. I had to quit my job to go to rehab and prepare for the baby.

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I was clean and sober when Isabel was born. She arrived early. The doctors said she was
exhibiting signs of dependency. I tested negative for everything but opinions were being formed about me and CPS got involved. Every parenting class, every hoop they wanted me to jump through—God helped me do it. So, when she came home after 3 months in the NICU, she came home to her mother.

Two years later, I was moody and that led me to start drinking to cope. I had never really been a drinker before. I hadn’t had sex in six months, but I started to wonder if I was pregnant. I had no belly so nobody believed it was possible, but I took the pregnancy test and it came back positive—that’s why I had been so moody. I immediately stopped drinking.

Grave fear took over me. I was thinking this is my fault. I already robbed this child of a healthy pregnancy. They are going to find alcohol in my system and, not only take this baby, but my other child. This was the lie the devil fed me: You’re going to have to abort this baby to keep the child you already have.

The Bible says the devil stands before the Father and accuses us day and night. Now I know what that scripture means.

I called a lot of abortion clinics. Thrive came up in a Google search. I called thinking it was another abortion clinic. They gave me an appointment right away. I knew I didn’t want to do this. I was raised a Christian and believed murdering babies was wrong, until I faced that decision myself. I was gripped by fear. We make a lot of choices out of fear we wouldn’t make otherwise.

I told God, “I know you don’t want me to do this. Make a way out.”

I met the nurse, and she was filled with the Holy Spirit. There was beauty and love and this glow around her. She was an angel. I didn’t know you could make appointments with an angel.
I told her I was looking for a sign from God that I wasn’t supposed to abort this baby. She just calmed me so much and prayed and made me feel at peace.

She gave me a sonogram and it just drove it all home. She was real. This is my baby.

That’s the sign I had asked God for. Even though I thought I was driving to an abortion clinic, He was driving me somewhere else. I changed my mind.

The nurse let me know she was going to be there throughout the process, and she was. She gave me prenatal vitamins and resources to find the right doctors. She called and checked up on me. The baby—Abigail—came quickly after that. I can’t even begin to explain how God ordained it, and all my fears about them finding alcohol went away. I went home with both of my children. I’m clean and sober, and life is good.

Isabel is thriving in kindergarten and Abigail is in PK-3. I am the vice president of the school’s parent association. I have such high hopes for them. I really try to teach them about God. I believe if you train up a child in the way she should go, she will not depart from it. My mom gave me that faith when I was a child, and it is the only thing that has helped me transcend the hard things of this world.

I really made the right choice. I couldn’t imagine if I had the abortion. It probably would have eaten me alive. I thank God he spared me from that. God is mighty to save.

I want you all to know there are a lot of women out there like me, who don’t really want to get an abortion. They’ve just been deceived, but the Lord has hope for them. Thrive is giving them the courage they need.

You are saving lives. Thank you for saving Abigail’s life, and for all you’ve done for us.